The first ever… Strategic Planning for Love and War

The Editors


It’s time to get real about relationships.


The first ever… Strategic Planning for Love and War is not only a book; it’s an experience that pairs life’s relationships, with a soulful backdrop of the best R&B music from the past 30 years. For every relationship high and low, there is a song that tells the story.


Money, sex, danger, hurt, healing, the things people won’t talk about, and life issues of all kinds are addressed. For those single, dating, married, divorced, looking, or anywhere in between, it’s all in here.  Can you stand the rain? Get to the heart of why people struggle, why men and women see love and relationships differently, and what to do about it. Let the rhythm get into you. With Strategic Planning for Love & War, have the greatest love of all.


Do you want a relationship worth having?


Get the help you need with

Relationships and Adult Conversations,

Strategic Planning for Love & War with a musical twist.



by Jo Lena Johnson (Water)

Steven Charles Martin (Ice)

with Musical Arrangement by Kevin Fleming (Soul)


Available February 2012

Paperback, eBook and Audio CD Excerpts!


Book Summary

“Strategic Planning for Love and War – Relationships and Adult Conversations,” written by Jo Lena Johnson and Steven Charles Martin, with musical arrangement by Radio Legend Kevin B. Fleming, offers a very interesting take on adult relationships today and the challenges people face in their quest for their “soul mate,” the “one true love,” even if they are single, dating, married or somewhere in between.

Authors Water, Ice and Soul (self-donned monikers) discuss the ebb and flow of relationships through practical wisdom, praise, poignant language, humor and song.

The fact that “IceWater” are actually a couple in life makes it all the more interesting for the reader. Instead of a dry self help-type book, you get to see what real challenges and difficulties this couple has experienced throughout their relationship, and cannot help feeling surprised at the open way in which they discuss matters – even sensitive issues like cheating, lying to your other half, or even taboo topics like body odors and emissions. The book is complemented by numerous interviews and testimonials from real people about various challenges they have experienced in their relationships and marriages, as well as an remarkable selection of the best R&B music of the past 30 years, provided by Soul, as a musical backdrop for each relationship high and low.

The writers have covered 60 topics in just 190 pages. Examples include a woman who broke off a long-term loving relationship for her mate’s bad breath problem, and a middle-aged woman, described as a cougar, who only wants to have sex with younger men because her sex drive is way too high for men her age to satisfy.  These examples represent an expression of the more extreme, non-average views that are out there, so they are shared.

From dating, sex, marriage, choosing a partner, to dangers in a relationship, healing from a previous relationship and alternative lifestyle choices – celibacy, long-distance relationships and sex with multiple people, everything is in here. The book is about overcoming the weaknesses and real life struggles every day people face. It is permeated by the idea of spirituality, soul connection and guidance to create understanding, to stop battling and to learn how to strategically create relationships worth having.

Communication is a key issue that is explored in the book – communication with your mate even for the most awkward or taboo matters, as well as self-exploration, knowing yourself, your needs and desires, and facing them with honesty in the search for happiness.  The eternal “battle” between the male and the female is also a central focus of the book: the strong, independent male who is expected to take on the role of the provider, versus the sensitive female who seeks love, confirmation and mutuality in the relationship. While both sexes may seemingly look for the same thing, the ways in which they approach it may vary wildly, and this is where challenges in a relationship come up, along with the question of how you make your loved one aware of your needs.

Ultimately, one of the central messages of the book is that, in today’s society, relationships between the two sexes are so much more complicated, as compatibility is sought at so many different levels compared to the past: emotional, psychological, physical/sexual, financial and spiritual. At the end of the day, the success of a relationship very much depends on the couple being “on the same page”: wanting the same things from life at that particular time, seeing eye to eye in their goals and how to accomplish them, and being at a similar stage in their lives. Any relationship that falls outside this spectrum faces a much higher risk of not making it long term.

The couple as “IceWater,” leave the question of what happened to their own relationship open in the end. Perhaps because they themselves are unsure of what the future holds for them? And even though we all love a happy ending, real life seems to be more complex than a fairy tale. From this perspective, “Strategic Planning for Love and War, Relationships and Adult Conversations,” with a musical twist, captures the realities of everyday life in a relationship, the complexities, the anxieties, the dilemmas, the good and the bad moments. And for those who wonder what the future holds for their own relationship, take the message of the book: communicate, be honest, work together towards a deeper connection, respect yourself and your other half, give things time to mature, enjoy one another and hope that this will help you stay together for better or for worse.





“How do you tell your lover that his breath is offensive or that you’ve been thinking about having better sex—with someone else?!?!  There’s an App for that. It’s called Strategic Planning for Love & War.”

La Tia S. King, Independent Journalist




About the Authors Jo Lena Johnson, Steven Charles Martin, Kevin Fleming


Jo Lena Johnson, Water – Author & Writer


Empowering individuals to be their best is what International Trainer & Speaker, Jo Lena Johnson specializes in through her consultancy Absolute Good Training & Life Skills Management.  Through her training and writing, she reveals tools and strategies for people to thrive in life, work, and relationships. Principle-focused, results-driven, and heart-centered, Jo Lena has taught over 65,000 people worldwide with her no-nonsense and dynamic approach. Fast-paced and fun, her interactive self-discovery strategy sessions also help participants to develop skills in overcoming obstacles, build meaningful relationships and ultimately, achieve their goals. Jo Lena helps you get real with who you are and who you want to be. You can either spend a lifetime wishing you had a great life or learn NOW how to have an extraordinary life. It’s your choice.


Steven Charles Martin, Ice – Author & Writer


A skilled communicator and leader, Chief Steven Charles Martin combines past experiences and compassion for others to present and deliver a fresh perspective and heart centered alternatives to explore strategies to build relationships for couples and especially men in today’s world.  A graduate of Middle Tennessee State University, a father and a career recruiter for America’s Navy, A Global Force for Good, Chief Martin has served his country for over 22 years as a leader, a mentor, and a spokesperson for diversity.  With a winning attitude, a proven track record of success, and the courage to speak up, Chief Martin stands for bringing out the best in all those whom he encounters.



Kevin Fleming, Soul – Co-Author & Music Arranger


Kevin Fleming, Hollywood Radio Veteran and Entertainment Industry Consultant, provides the rhythm, as Musical Arranger and Co-author, Soul. Kevin pairs life’s relationships, with a soulful backdrop of the best R&B music from the past 30 years. For every relationship high and low, there is a song that tells the story. Kevin is a former VP for Perspective Records and spent almost 15 years as Program Director for several Los Angeles radio stations including KACE (R&B Oldies) & KRBV (The Beat) and KGFJ. He is also the Owner, Publisher and Editor of the Urban Buzz, the premiere urban radio and music industry newsletter since 2002. Amazingly talented, great ear and surely Soul-full, Kevin Fleming’s contributions set the mood, infusing harmony and music; uniquely, memorably and strategically for Relationships and Adult Conversations.














Table of Contents

Strategic Planning For Love & War,

Relationships and Adult Conversations Book

Johnson, Martin, Fleming





  1. 1.        Music is the Soundtrack of Our Lives
  2. 2.        Defining Love & War
  3. 3.        Love or War?
  4. 4.        Heartache and Healing from H2O



  1. 5.        How’s This for Love?
  2. 6.        Snoring, Emissions and Body Odor
  3. 7.        Bad Breath and Tough Decisions
  4. 8.        Moustaches and Excess Hair
  5. 9.        Just for Men
  6. 10.     Men and Chores
  7. 11.     Women, When Dealing with Men and Selecting a Mate
  8. 12.     Financial Stability
  9. 13.     A Love Story



  1. 14.     45 Years and Counting
  2. 15.     Real or Representative?
  3. 16.     Safe Sex or Celibacy?
  4. 17.     Confidence
  5. 18.     Living Together
  6. 19.     A Cougar’s Tales
  7. 20.     Long Distance Relationships
  8. 21.     Deal Breakers
  9. 22.     A Love Note



  1. 23.     Fire and Desire
  2. 24.     Freak Factor
  3. 25.     Advice from A Married Man
  4. 26.     Threesomes
  5. 27.     Men and Motivation
  6. 28.     Losing “It”
  7. 29.     New Booty, Cheating and Perceptions
  8. 30.     We’re Just Not There (Yet)?
  9. 31.     Pheromones

















  1. 32.     Stalkers!
  2. 33.     Blood and War
  3. 34.     Down Low
  4. 35.     Don’t Be Lazy!
  5. 36.     Pre-Commitment Check List
  6. 37.     Blinded by Love: Grown and Not Mature
  7. 38.     4 am Beat Down
  8. 39.     A Woman’s Position on Her Man (Possibly) Cheating from a Woman’s Heart
  9. 40.     A Woman’s Position on Cheating from a Man’s Perspective
  10. 41.     When You Suspect Cheating



  1. 42.     Healing Matters
  2. 43.     Intimate Moments: Desire and Wandering
  3. 44.     Healing After Divorce: Men Speak Up
  4. 45.     (Re)-Discovery After Divorce
  5. 46.     Faith and Confidence after Abuse
  6. 47.     Moving On With or Without Closure
  7. 48.     The Rebound



  1. 49.     Learning to Listen
  2. 50.     Insecurities
  3. 51.     King of Hearts
  4. 52.     Men and Space
  5. 53.     Admitting the Truth
  6. 54.     Power in Forgiveness



  1. 55.     Preparing for Love
  2. 56.     Life
  3. 57.     Good Men
  4. 58.     Hope and A Bright Future
  5. 59.     Ice Weighs In
  6. 60.     Holding On and Letting Go from H2O


Book Blurbs from Reviewers


“Inspirational sentiments are spoken throughout this compassionate yet powerful work of literary art.”

Keith D. Turner, Writer for and


“It’s easy to get caught up in treating people how you want to be treated, but from reading this book, I understand that the real importance comes from treating others the way they deserve to be treated.”

Aigner Martin, Author of “Perseverance is Remembrance.”


“How do you tell your lover that his breath is offensive or that you’ve been thinking about having better sex—with someone else?!?!  There’s an App for that. It’s called Strategic Planning for Love & War.”

La Tia S. King, Independent Journalist


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